Top 10 Movies That Make Me Bawl

I come across as rather cynical but I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I will cry at the drop of a hat at the end of romantic comedies and bawl when animals die. Here are the top ten tearjerking movie moments that will get me every time. **spoilers ahead**

10. Antarctica - the whole of it. 

This little Japanese movie is one I saw when I was very young. It is literally the only time other than my granddad's funeral that I've ever seen my dad cry. It's about a research team in Antarctica who leave their huskies behind tied up for what they think is going to be a short time until the new team arrive only to not be able to get back due to weather. The dogs are forced to fend for themselves in the ice and storms. Of course, most of the dogs die (some tied up still, some trying to survive on the icebergs) but in the end, only two survive. I cried due to sadness about the dogs' deaths, I cried when the two dogs are reunited with the team at the end. It's soooo sad and happy at the same time. :(

9. The Neverending Story - Artax. 

I feel like I was traumatised by Artax's death in The Neverending Story. It was so awful to watch as a kid, the horse sinking into the mud because he's too sad to overcome the swamp - what did they think they were doing?! Kids everywhere fell apart. Wahhhh! It was great acting by Noah Hathaway as a young one and I will never be able to hear that music again without thinking about drowning horses. Thank goodness the horse is alive again at the end, otherwise I would have been scarred for life, I think. In fact, the whole movie is pretty dark for a kids' film. 

8. Legends of the Fall - the whole thing!

Man, that movie is a real downer! From the moment Samuel (who I still saw as the little kid in E.T.) gets stuck in barbed wire on the WW1 battlefield and poor Brad Pitt can't get him out in time for him to die by gunfire, it gets more and more sad and depressing. In fact, so depressing that in the end, Susannah and Tristan's deaths don't even have much impact because we're already about as traumatised as we can get. The worst one by far is the young girl, Isabel 2, who as an adult is accidentally shot as a way of saying 'you're happy, Tristan? Well, fuck you!'. That was just downright mean! Combined with a ridiculously emotive James Horner score, this movie was a bawl-fest from start to finish - I remember hiding in the cinema as a teenager watching it because I was so pathetic. 

7. The Green Mile - the mouse, Del's death and John Coffey's death

It doesn't matter who he plays, Doug Hutchinson creeps me out. What a great actor - his ability to play reprehensible characters is nothing short of brilliant. The mouse being squashed was bad enough but when Hutchinson's character deliberately tortures Del in the electric chair to be sadistic and then pretends it was a mistake is horrible and gutwrenching. :( And then John Coffey's death - well, the bit where he asks to leave the hood off during his execution (despite being innocent) because he's afraid of the dark... well, I swear, I cried like a baby! Soooo bloody sad! It only makes up for it that the mouse is alive at the end! RIP Michael Clarke Duncan.

6. Mr Holland's Opus - the end

I have seen this movie about 50 times and I still react exactly the same way every time at the end. I think it's because Richard Dreyfuss is such a fantastic actor and his acting skills when he cries are just so damn effective. I can totally relate to this movie and the passion that this teacher has for music and it's such a sad yet happy ending. But it really hits a nerve that the music department funding was cut in the movie as I feel that today's education department are doing exactly the same thing and that's the saddest part of all. I only hope that I can have even a fraction of the impact on my students and colleagues that Mr Holland does in the movie. 

5. Turner and Hooch - the death of Hooch. 

I can't handle animal deaths in movies. Mum and I went to see A Dog's Purpose and even though I hated the book, we both cried all the way through. Such a sook! Well, Hooch's death in Turner and Hooch gets me every time. I think it's a testament to Tom Hank's acting but also because the dog is so damn ugly, he's adorable and everybody wants him! It didn't even make up for it by having a cute puppy at the end. :(

4. Seven Pounds - the entire end

I pretty much had that awful lump in my throat the entire second half of this movie. I actually really like Will Smith as an actor and he did such a good job. But particularly, I think Rosario Dawson was the one that made me bawl in this movie. It's a heartbreaking story and you feel so damn sorry for poor Tim/Ben who has felt such overwhelming guilt and shame for so long. It's really hard to ascertain whether it's actually a happy ending or not - I just can't reconcile it.  All I know is that I really didn't see it coming and was genuinely shocked at the actions Tim/Ben took. And it's a movie that has stayed with me for a long time. 

3. The Pursuit of Happyness - the ending

Another Will Smith movie. As I said earlier, I'm a sucker for happy endings. I had the biggest lump in my throat at the end - you feel so relieved and happy for him at the end, knowing just how hard everything was for him. It is particularly good to know that this was actually a true story and that this amazing thing happened to someone in real life. I think this is actually one of my favourite movies. It really is heartwarming. Nawwww! 

2. Pay It Forward - Trevor's death and the revelation of Eugene Simonet's childhood

Eugene Simonet's recounting of the abuse he received by his father and being burnt alive is heartwrenching but when children die in movies, it's particularly traumatic. This one was one of the worst because of who the kid was. Haley Joel Osment as a young boy was a particularly easy child actor to love - that earnest little face and his formidable acting skills for such a small boy are very easy to relate to. Trevor's optimism and spirit make his death so much harder to take. The scene with the crowd and the candles makes me bawl. Every time. I'm such a baby! 

1. My Girl - Thomas J's funeral

This movie gets me EVERY TIME. I have lost count of how many times I've seen it but the funeral scene with Vada approaching Thomas J's coffin makes me lose it every time (and when Vada reads her poem too for that matter!). The movie itself is actually a beautiful coming of age story but this scene is iconic for the important development of its lead character who despite growing up in a funeral home, is confused about death until it hits her right in the face. "His glasses....he can't see without his glasses!" Waaaaahhhh! Awful! 


Honourable mentions go to: 

• Billy Bibbitt's death in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest;
• Dumbledore's death in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince;
• The Terminator lowering himself into the fire in Terminator 2: Judgement Day. 
• Red Dog - again, another dog dying but also Josh Lucas' character's death. 

Dishon mentions: 

• The Notebook - I wanted them to die because the movie was so insufferable; 
• Titanic - there was totally room for Jack on that door...Rose was a mole. Not even sad, just annoying! 
• Anything else by Nicholas Sparks - pure schmalz, no genuine emotion. 
• Remember Me - talk about exploiting a genuine real tragedy to get a reaction. Not sad, just offensive. 
• Beaches - puke inducing and has that horrible song 'Wind Between My Cheeks'

Top 10 Favourite Figure Skating Programs

Yes, I am a big figure skating fan. Even when I was a kid and could hardly stand up on hire skates, I loved watching skating and have dozens of figure skating VHS tapes that have been watched so many times, I'm surprised they even play any more.

Here are my favourite figure skating performances/programs of all time, some of which inspired me to give the sport a go myself, despite being totally uncoordinated and not in the slightest bit athletic. 

10. Vanessa Gusmeroli -1998 Nagano Olympics Free Program (Batman and The Big Blue)

I'm not the biggest fan of this girl's skating style. It's very strong, forceful and not the delicate style that I love about figure skating but I love this program for the middle Big Blue slow section and particularly the amazing split she puts into the choreography. It's interesting footwork and unusual elements and I really like it. 

9. Chen Lu - Adios Nonino (1998 Nagano Olympics SP) 

I actually really liked Chen Lu in the 90s. I really admired her guts this particular year, given all of the set backs she had had in the previous couple of years with coaches, injury, a growth spurt, federation... the fact that she did so well in that Olympics was testament to her drive and determination. 

This program's choreography is fantastic (I think it was Sandra Bezic) and the music is one of my favourites. I'm a big Piazzolla fan. This program set her up for her bronze medal overall and I really love it. 

8. Yuzuru Hanyu - NHK Trophy 2015 World Record. 

How can you go past this program? It is like watching history being made right in front of your eyes. I love the intensity Yuzu has in his eyes all the way through, especially when he goes right into the step sequence at the end of the program. Amazing focus! What I love the most about Yuzuru Hanyu is that he is always striving for more - he was reportedly disappointed that he didn't receive +3 GOE for the step sequence. It's worth it though just watching Brian Orser's reaction when Yuzu comes off the ice. Two legends right there! 

7. Kurt Browning - Singin' In The Rain

Probably my favourite musical of all time performed through my favourite sport of all time by a figure skating legend. This is extremely clever. It always scared me a little just how much water was on the ice surface when Kurt Browning did this, especially performing those jumps. 

Awesome! 

6. Kristi Yamaguchi - 1992 Worlds LP 

Kristi Yamaguchi was really the skater who made me truly fall in love with figure skating at the age of 13. There are so many skaters who jump, skate, jump, spin... skating from one element to the next, and that is it. Yes, jumps and spins are important but the skaters that I love are the ones who make it truly part of the choreography and that is what Kristi did. Her jumps always seemed an extension of the steps before it. Now in an age where skaters all seem to be jumping beans (I'm looking at you, Evgenia Medvedeva), Kristi was all about artistry and that's what interests me the most in skating, so I will always come back to watch her.

5. Sasha Cohen - 2006 Torino Olympics SP "Dark Eyes" 

I was never the biggest fan of Sasha Cohen. Her inconsistency with jumping and uncanny ability to somewhat choke under pressure made me uneasy when watching her. I was pleased for Shizuka Arakawa to beat her in Torino overall who I had watched since she was a junior. But I must say that Sasha Cohen's Dark Eyes program was bloody stunning. Her spiral sequence is absolutely incredible for her control and amazing flexibility and there was no choking in sight in this program. She had so many good qualities as a skater. I just wish she had been able to pull them out under pressure.

4. Queen Kim Yuna - 2010 Vancouver Olympics LP "Gershwin Piano Concerto" 

What a star Yuna Kim was in this program. Well deserving of a world record. She was just so cool, calm and collected in the whole competition, she made all her jumps look as easy as single jumps and earned her nickname for her almost regal performance. Truly stunning performance and this is coming from a big fan of her rival Mao Asada. It does help that I absolutely love the music she chose. Everything Brian Orser touches seems to turn to gold!

 3. Jason Brown - 2014 US Nationals "Riverdance" 

Jason Brown didn't have a quad (still doesnt consistently). Who the fuck cares! This program is, quite frankly, fucking incredible! I love this kid! He is s truly special skater because even at his young age, he understands that there is more to skating than the elements. It is a performance sport and he performs the shit out of this program. There is a real dance element to his performance and as a musician, this is oh so important to me. I look forward to every time he skates.

2. Phillippe Candeloro - D'Artagnan 1998 season 

And now to another skater who was all about artistry. Probably one of my fave skaters of all time, Philippe Candeloro was all about character and having fun on the ice which is what skating should be all about! Getting the most out of the music and the story of the program. And this was my favourite of his performances for the step sequence alone. A swashbuckling sword fight on skates! Too many falls to win, having started from too far behind after the short but he still managed to clinch bronze with a very impressive presentation score. His exhibition skate on ice playing around with this program in the Gala afterwards I could just watch on a loop. Hilarious!

1. Michelle Kwan "Lyra Angelica" 1998 Nagano Olympics LP. 

I get teary EVERY TIME I watch this program. It really is the most gorgeous skating I have ever seen. A beautifully choreographed program with stunning music. It is so easy to forget just how young Michelle was when she did this very mature program - just 17. I feel she was far superior to Tara Lipinski who just annoyed me. Tara may have had the technical score but the artistry simply wasn't there and her jumps were sloppy, untidy and not high at all. I really think Michelle should have won and probably could have with today's scoring due to the use of GOE.

My favourite part of this program are her spins. I dream of being able to spin like her. The beautiful lay back positions, the camel spin in the opposite direction (!) and perfectly centred sit spins. And her beautiful long spiral - wow! She cried after this program because she was so happy and I cried with her. My favourite skater ever.

Top 10 Favourite Christmas Movies

I hereby countdown my favourite movies to watch during the festive season! Merry Christmas! 

10. Bushfire Moon

Most Christmas movies are all about snow and open fires and eggnog and Christmas stockings. It's a little hard to relate to when you've grown up with Christmas in summer in one of the hottest, driest countries in the world. This little Aussie movie from 1987 is the antithesis of that - set in the 1890s Australian outback, it has Charles Bud Tingwell as a drifter who gets mistaken by a little boy for Father Christmas. It's gorgeous!  

9. Die Hard

I don't care what anyone says - Die Hard is a Christmas movie. 

8. The Ref

This movie is, quite frankly, hilarious. It's about a burglar who breaks into a house, taking the occupants hostage but regretting it immediately because the family are a bunch of dysfunctional tossers, fighting all the time. It has Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey and Glynis Johns from Mary Poppins and it's a hoot. The soundtrack by David A Stewart from the Eurythmics is pretty good too. 

https://youtu.be/Z8gdh_1f3ss

7. The Holiday 

I know it's not exactly all Christmas but it does finish with Christmas. And really it's all about one thing - Jude Law *swoon* The scenes with Jude Law's onscreen daughters are adorable and Jack Black's video store movie score demonstration to Kate Winslet is funny as! Speaking of scores, the track Maestro from this lovely score by Hans Zimmer is my dream figure skating program! 

6. Love Actually 

Again, this movie is about the lead up to Christmas,  not so much Christmas itself but it is most decidedly festive. I love the different stories, particularly Colin Firth and the Portugese housekeeper and of course Hugh Grant because he always makes me laugh. Hate the Kiera Knightley bit though...thought she was a mole. My favourite bit was little Thomas Sangster's crush singing the world's most cheesy Christmas pop song. Love it! 

5. While You Were Sleeping 

As I said earlier, Aussies can't really relate to wintery Christmas movies but it doesn't mean we can't dream of having one. This movie makes me long for a white Christmas. The family scenes in this movie are hilarious, relatable and made all the more enjoyable by Peter Boyle and Glynis Johns (again!). Egg nog, snow, walks along lit up Chicago streets, receiving winter gloves for Christmas.... all on my bucket list! And the whole story is pretty cute too. 

4. Home Alone 

Hahaha! Love this movie. I dream of living in a house and street like this! Macauley Culkin was ever so slightly annoying but cute nonetheless. The story is silly, totally unrealistic but everytime I hear Trepak or Carol of the Bells or Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree, I think of this movie.  

3. The Snowman 

This beautiful dialogue free short cartoon was a favourite of mine as a kid. We had it on Beta tape! It tells the story of a lonely little boy who builds a snowman which comes to life and takes him on a flying adventure. The score by Howard Blake featuring Aled Jones is stunning - "Walking In The Air" for example is a beauty. And it always left me sad as (spoiler ahead!) the snowman melts, effectively dying, and leaving the little boy devastasted. It's definitely worth a watch if you haven't already seen it!

2. A Mom For Christmas 

I don't have many Christmas traditions, aside from small ones like Mum's salty salad, listening to the Bee Gees and talking about poo at the dinner table. But this was a tradition for many years in our house. This slightly terrible made-for-TV movie with Olivia Newton John was played every year the week of Christmas and we LOVED it. They've since stopped playing it but that's ok because I was sad enough to actually buy the dvd. The acting is atrocious, the story ridiculous but that is what makes it oh so satisfying. 

1. The Muppet Christmas Carol. 

It's the Muppets, Michael Caine and a classic story all in one movie. What is not to love! I love everything about it. My absolute favourite! It's worth it for this scene alone! Watch it!

Ten Scariest Film and TV characters!

I'm easily spooked. I mean, I had nightmares about a story about a potential witch that I saw on that TV show 'The Extraordinary' (hosted by Warwick Moss) for Pete's sake! There's a reason I don't watch American Horror Story. I know I would be closing all the curtains and sleeping with the lights on at night if I did. And after watching late night horror movies like Paranormal Activity, I need to watch Disney movies to make sure it's not the last thing I'm thinking about before I try and sleep! I fast forward scary bits. I really am a dork when it comes to horror. 

Here are the top 10 scariest characters that creeped me out and still do!

10. Jack Torrance from "The Shining"

"Here's Johnny!" Jack Torrance has to make this list. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. But there is nothing dull about Jack Nicholson in this movie. He is purely terrifying in his portrayal of the writer who slowly goes crazy as a result of the influence of paranormal forces in a deserted hotel. The movie is scarily atmospheric (as many Kubrick creations are) and more psychological than violent and the scene in the snowy maze at the end will stay with me forever (as well as the iconic axe through the door scene). Jack Nicholson is genius in his characterisation of the slowly maddening Torrance. But my fear of Jack Torrance's character has greatly diminished recently with the recut romantic comedy trailer portraying Torrance as a lost soul looking for love. Hahaha! 

9. Hannibal Lecter "Silence Of The Lambs"

How can you go past Hannibal Lecter? Such an amazing creation, Thomas Harris. Calm, calculating psychopath but well developed. Anthony Hopkins is the most famous to portray Harris' character and won a well deserved Oscar for it (although he wasn't the first). He is truly terrifying in his calm, collected, gentleman-like manner that he still scares me after watching that movie many many times. Whilst others have taken on the role (Mads Mikkelsen is the latest in the TV show Hannibal - who I do love - and Gaspard Ulliel in Hannibal Rising who I also love and was fantastic as the young Lecter but the movie itself, I fear, was terrible), Anthony Hopkins will always remain for me the definitive portrayal of this incredible literary creation. 

8. The Gentleman from "Buffy The Vampire Slayer"

I don't remember many Buffy episodes from about the 3rd season onwards but the silent creepy baldheaded Gentlemen from that episode later on "Hush", floating sideways with their plastered on smiles.... argh! They stole people's voices so they couldn't scream when they killed them. Usually, Buffy was quite schlock with its characters but these ones did scare me! Who thinks these creatures up and what is wrong with them?!

7. Eugene Victor Tooms from "The X Files"

Hands down, one of the best X Files characters ever written in 9 seasons. The X Files had some corkers but Eugene Victor Tooms wins out for me. The scene where he is stretching himself down the chimney is creepy as hell! The yellow glowing eyes when Tooms is about to attack scared me as a teenager. I used to have a poster of River Phoenix on my wall at home which, in the evening, just happened to shine in the wrong place from a light through the window. It made the eyes glow yellow and after this episode, I ended up taking it down! Doug Hutchison (who I believe was a vegetarian! Hahaha) portrays the pyschopathic mutant Tooms with such calm gentleness that it makes the character all the more scary. 

6. The inbred hillbillies from "Deliverance"

The inbred hillbillies. Amazing movie but disturbing and really a once-off for me. The scene with the duelling banjos is a classic, amazing playing & very memorable but after knowing the outcome of the story, I can't even watch that scene anymore. Great acting too... "Squeal like a pig!" Ugh! 

5. Mick Taylor from "Wolf Creek"

Mick Taylor: officially the most realistic serial killer characterisation ever! John Jarrett is an amazing actor but this movie was so disturbing because it hit so close to the mark in terms of pure brutality. I heard an interview with Jarrett in which he talked about going to the premiere of the movie and he sat behind a girl in the cinema who was not handling the movie very well. During the bit in the car when Mick Taylor appears in the rear view vision of the car, this poor girl turned to look behind her to avert her eyes and there's John Jarrett sitting behind her. Bahahaha! I would have DIED. 

4. The girl from "The Grudge"

My memories of that movie extend to one thing and one thing alone. The girl who does the croaky growly noise on the phone. Scared the LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of me. A friend rang me shortly after I watched this movie in the cinema (and this is just the American version, I hear the Japanese one is worse) and made that noise down the phone. I think I may have evacuated my bowels. The movie was very gory and violent and I didn't like it but will always remember that creepy girl. 

3. Samara from "The Ring"

Horrible scary little girl. That movie freaked me out. Turns out I'm a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies. Even watching it subsequent times, I find myself fast forwarding the scary bits like when Samara crawls out of the well and through the TV. Ugh! I wonder if the actress has been typecast because of it. She'd be in her twenties now. 

2. Pennywise the Clown from "It"

Want a balloon? Ohh yes...they float Georgie...they float and when you're down here with us, you'll float too!!!!!!  *runs and hides* Man, Pennywise scared the shit out of me. Clowns = bad! I remember watching this with my friend Isobel when I was a teenager as we both liked Jonathan Brandis and being scared shitless of the stupid clown! "It" was one of the scariest books I've ever read and the movie was actually pretty terrible but Tim Curry did an amazing job. He still freaks me out to this day! I blame my fear of clowns on him! 

1. Killer Bob from "Twin Peaks"

Never have I been so freaked out by a fictional character in my life. I had a racing heart, I couldn't sleep and I thought about it for days. He was the scariest fucking character ever. The scene where he creeps into shot and climbs over the couch towards the camera nearly gave me a heart attack. Even now, I can't watch Twin Peaks because if I see Killer Bob, I'll freak out. Ugh! I don't even like looking at this picture! That poor guy Frank Silva (RIP), I wonder what it must have been like for him post-Twin Peaks. People must have freaked out at seeing him in the streets. A worthy recipient of the title, I think.

Honorable mentions go to: Tony Todd in Candyman (that movie scared me when I was a teenager - ugh!), the Peacocks in The X Files (one of the scariest and strangely non-paranormal episodes of the show), Katie in Paranormal Activity, the zombie like creature at the end of Rec, and Annie Wilkes from Misery (Kathy Bates was amazing)!

Top ten favourite books/book series as a child/youth

I read a lot as a child. I pretty much had a book in my hand at every waking moment. Until I became a horrible teenager and decided to give up books for smartarse comments & stalking boys I liked who were several year levels older! I cannot encourage parents enough to get their kids reading books as early as possible. I was a very imaginative kid. I once thought, when I was in Year 2, that Santa was going to make the characters from Voltron come alive for me for Christmas and they were going to come to class and help out the teacher. I even told my teacher that and then spent the rest of the day avoiding eye contact with her as I was embarrassed when I realised that it was make believe! I would always act out books and television shows with my friends at lunchtime e.g. using the quadrangle as my own personal dangerous cliff face to act out a scene from Mysterious Cities of Gold! I wrote a ton of stories (my stories about the kids' newspaper that I wrote in Year 6 are hilarious!) and this hasn't stopped, pretty much. My interest in script writing, chick lit novel writing and other creative concepts have stemmed from reading as a child. 

So here are my favourite books as a child/teenager. 

10. My Naughty Little Sister and Bad Harry - Dorothy Edwards and Shirley Hughes.

I not only read these books but I had audio books of these stories that I played on a loop as a child. My cousin was nicknamed Harry after these books (his name is not even close to that!) and it has stuck ever since. I loved the exploits of a mischevious little girl and her friend, the equally naughty Harry. There was a whole series of these books and the one I remember the most is when My Naughty Little Sister goes to school. I even recall thinking about this in kindy after hearing the story and it's one of the few memories I have of kindergarten. So cute. I hope these are still available so that I can give my nieces and nephews and friends' children these books in the future to read. 

9. The Digging-est Dog - Al Perkins

This was always one of my favourite books. It was published by the same company in the same style as Dr Seuss with similar illustrations and up until a few years ago, I still had a copy. I loved dogs and the thought of a naughty dog digging his way around the town, making gigantic trenches and causing havoc always used to make me smile. It was a cute little story and I reckon the cover above was the one I had! 

8. The Witches - Roald Dahl

Roald Dahl was one of those incredible childrens' authors who had the most wicked imagination. He was, all at once, gross, intriguing, funny and poignant, his story worlds capturing your attention from the first page. I loved his books as a kid but I particularly liked The Witches. I loved the idea that witches would hold conventions! It's macabre, creepy but hilarious! (And I love the movie they made with Angelica Huston and Rowan Atkinson too!)

7. The Serendipity books - Stephen Cosgrove

I have never seen childrens' books quite like these since. What draws me to them so much are the absolutely exquisite illustrations by Robin James. They are simply beautiful. I believe Mum might still have some at home - we had a good 20-25 of them with their colourful covers, exactly as pictured above. There were stories called 'The Gnome from Rome', 'Leo the Lop' about a bunny rabbit, Morgan Mine (about a unicorn), The Muffin Muncher (that name gives me the giggles now - I'm so immature!), Wheedle on the Needle (set in Seattle) and the ones pictured above "Serendipity" and "Catundra". All the stories (about 70 or so of them) have a moral or important theme.... being yourself, friendship, tolerance, beauty comes from within, shyness, bullying, harmful gossip.... This is so important in books for children to learn and I think they are simply gorgeous. 

6. The Sweet Valley High series

The book series by Francine Pascal about pretty blonde 16 year old twins Elizabeth and Jessica from Sweet Valley, California (pictured here with terrible haircuts!!!) took a while for me to get into but as I got older (and more interested in boys), I grew more interested in their dramas. She tackles serious issues affecting teens, much like Degrassi Junior High did for Canadian tv audiences, albeit the former is a little more soap-opera like in its approach. And like Degrassi, the author(s) break up the couple that had been on and off for the entire series at the end. Not sure how I feel about that... 

Apparently Francine Pascal didn't write them all the books (there are something like 150 of them!), merely presiding over ghost writers to complete her series. There are many spin offs from this series as well, such as Sweet Valley Confidential and University. However, even with all the issues she tackles in these books, they're probably still much tamer than what kids are reading these days! 

5. Sweet Dreams romance novels

One of the first teenage romance novels I ever read was a Sweet Dreams romance novel called Wrong Way Romance by Sheri Cobb South. I LOVED it. I borrowed it from the Woodville library about 100 times (I'm pretty sure I was the one who made it fall apart at the seams!). It's one of those classic 'Girl hates boy, boy hates girl, boy is forced into pretending to be girl's boyfriend and they fall in love, jadajadajada' stories but it was very well done, funny and I think back then, I wanted hair like the girl on the cover! I was in my 'I want a boyfriend' stage of teenagehood and I think these type of books were the reason I ended up wanting to write chick lit. (Adult though, not YA fiction). I was in Tasmania at a family gathering and I read my Aunty's entire collection in a week! She had a lot of them! 

4. Point Horror series 

Before the tweens got R.L. Stine's Goosebumps, there were the Point Horror books (written by R.L. Stine as well as a wealth of other authors). I still remember reading them as a teen and loving them. They were scary, had characters you could relate to, a bit of romance and usually involved a twist (sometimes you saw it coming, sometimes not). I remember ones called 'The Hitchhiker' (I still have a copy of that!), 'The Lifeguard', 'Final Exam', 'Teacher's Pet', 'The Babysitter' and other cliched titles but the one I liked the most was one that was reminiscent of Hitchcock's Rear Window. It was called 'The Window' by Carol Ellis and involved a girl hurting her ankle and witnessing a crime from her camp window. I would love to get my hands on some of these books again. They were great (and the covers were always impressive too). 

3. The Babysitters Club - Ann M Martin

Oh, who didn't love the exploits of Kristy, Mary-Ann, Dawn, Claudia, Stacey, Jessi and Mallory, babysitting as part of a club (read: business) they created. My whole tween/early teen life was consumed by the lives of seven 11-13 year old girls! There were so many things wrong with the concept (child labour, creating a business without paying tax, unsupervised children, the fact that they didn't seem to do school work because they were always babysitting!) but I loved it anyway! There were boys but the target audience were so young that romance didn't really enter into the books much (aside from innocent kids' stuff). My favourite book was the one about Jessi, the ballet dancer, who is stalked by a jealous dancer when she wins a lead role in her dance school production. I remember reading it once with a tape player and headphones playing the music from the ballet Sleeping Beauty, to immerse myself in the story more! And my friend Isobel and I bonded on the first day of high school over the Babysitters Club. It was really how we became friends. 

2. Graeme Base's Animalia and The Eleventh Hour

One word. WOW! What incredible books these are, designed by English born, Australian bred picture book author Graeme Base. Exquisitely designed, clever, creative concepts put together so well. I spent many hours looking at these books, trying to find mice in The Eleventh Hour and solve the riddles he had posed in the book, trying to see how many A, B or C items were in each page of Animalia and giggling over the rhymes. They are so incredibly beautiful. I can't wait to show these to other children like Hannah who isn't quite old enough yet to appreciate it. Apparently Base has created a lot of books but I have never seen them, only these two, but these definitely shaped my childhood and made me a more creative, imaginative person. 

1. The Malory Towers series - Enid Blyton

Who doesn't love Enid Blyton? She was a wonderful author of children's books with a vivid imagination and there are just some terms you can't see without thinking of her. Lashings of ginger beer, lacrosse (and getting lemon wedges to suck at half time), boarding schools with bitchy dorm mates, girls with boys' haircuts and boys' names! My favourite of hers (although I do love the Adventure series as well) are the Malory Towers books. The everyday goings on in a fictional seaside boarding school in Cornwall and friends Darrell (a girl!), Sally, Felicity, Mary-Lou, Irene and Bill (among others) kept me occupied for hours! There is a particular book (I think it's the fifth form book) that is about the girls' putting on a pantomime which I absolutely adored. It was almost like this was preempting my love for the theatre and music! Blyton's books can be racist, sexist and snobby but I almost think this is part of the charm of them these days. It was hard to choose a number one in this category because all the books have shaped me into the person I am today but I really do feel that these books made me understand girls more. And as somebody who has always felt more comfortable being friends with boys (and still am, I think), I believe that has been really important. 

Top 10 Favourite Youtube videos!

I admit, I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at Youtube videos, probably more than is healthy (or financially viable!). Once upon a time, I was jaded by Youtube after inadvertently seeing two absolutely horrific, disturbing videos which gave me nightmares for weeks. (One was so awful, I cried everytime I thought about it which was quite often in those early days!). 

But my fear and loathing of those incidents have been surpassed by some of the clever things you can see on Youtube courtesy of hilarious people who have a lot of spare time! So here are my favourites! And there were so many to choose from! 

10. Dramatic Reading of "Sexy and I Know It" by Ira David Wood III

This cracks me up. The laughing of the girl behind the camera is kind of annoying but I LOVE that this known director of Theatre in the Park does this song in Peter O' Toole style. I hate LMFAO, Redfoo and anything related to this song - the lyrics are so friggin' ridiculous that it makes it even funnier when read like this. I just lost it at 'wiggle wiggle wiggle!'

9. Bad Lip Reading channel

These brilliant people at the Bad Lip Reading Channel do a lot of these types of videos, mostly lip synching NFL which are hilarious but they have extended it to blockbuster movies. My favourite is Twilight as the acting is so unspeakably bad (sorry, R Patz) that they may as well be saying those words. Even the first line made me spit my drink out ("Mouses have wee wees..."). I love that they make Edward into a total douche and Bella into a 'Cher Horovitz style airhead'. And the cake scene! Gut busting stuff! 

8. Google Translate Sings

Malinda Kathleen Reese, you're a legend! Not only is this girl actually talented and has the vocal goods to pull this project off but she has tapped into the internet's finest comedy resource - Google Translate. She puts it through several layers (but sometimes may not have to do that many as Google Translate is so incredibly bad with certain languages!). Her version of Let It Go is brilliant, particularly for the way that the 'inspirational chorus' is made much less inspiring by a simple change to three words!  I can't wait to see more from her. 

7. Jesus Christ in Richmond Park

Naughty Fenton! It doesn't matter how many times I see this, I can't stop laughing. Videos of misbehaving canines and silly animals are always funny but I think the reason I find this particularly side-splitting is because it's just so unexpected. 

6. Gilbert Gottfried reads excerpts from "50 Shades of Grey" 

Once again, this book is so ridiculous that it was bound to have the piss taken out of it. And who better to do that than the voice of Iago in Aladdin. Somehow, he turns a book that was "supposed to be" (and I use the term 'supposed to be' loosely!) erotic and turns it into the creepiest reading ever! His pronounced bird-like twang, the enhanced pronunciation of particular words describing nether regions and the overall bad writing makes this video comedic gold! 

5. The Shining and Scary Mary (recut trailers)

The multitude of recut trailers prove that emotion in movies lies a lot in the choice of musical score, voiceover and delicate editing. Which is why it annoys me when people leave the theatre the moment the lights come up after a movie. Those people who made that movie great may not be the ones on the screen!

The first video is pure genius! The idea of cutting an iconic creepy horror movie as a romantic comedy is an inspired one. From the moment the voiceover and the kooky orchestral score strikes up, you could believe that this is what the movie is about! Very clever! 

The second is bloody hilarious as it does quite the opposite to the first one! If I knew nothing about Mary Poppins, I would have believed that the second video "Scary Mary" was a trailer for a horror movie. The use of audio effects, filters and clever editing makes this look terrifying. Love it! 

4. Paint and his amazing creations

The trick with a musical Youtube video is that you have to be good at what you do, not just aimed with a videocamera and an idea. This guy, Paint, is very very talented (I really hope he becomes famous beyond his Youtube channel as he has the skills). The video above, After Ever After, is one of my favourites of his - I love Disney and the music involved in those movies and so what he has done with these is very clever indeed. My favourite bit is where he refers to Belle's association with the Beast as 'bestiality". Great! Check out his Youtube. 

3. John William's heroic Jurassic Park score performed on melodica

I know, I've just contradicted myself. I did say that musical Youtube videos should be done by people with skill. But this one....oh, the joy of this one comes from the complete lack of talent. Absolutely hilarious! I was introduced to this by a friend who can't even talk about it without dissolving into hysterical laughter. I will never again be able to listen to the score of Jurassic Park (or, indeed, watch the movie) without thinking of this! 

2. Anything by Matt Mulholland

And now for a video that threatens to make me let a bit of wee out laughing! This Kiwi born comedian is apparently making a living out of his Youtube videos and good on him! I haven't seen a video of his that I haven't loved and this is one of my favourites. From his Penis Chorale to his ballad version of Who Let The Dogs Out; from his Batman Shampoo series to the Recorder by Candlelight songs, I never fail to laugh at his creations. But then, his serious stuff is bloody brilliant too. Some people would call it 'too much spare time', I call it a great use of musical talent! 

1. Orchestra Fail

And now my number 1: the video that never ceases to crack everyone up! Especially me! I want this as my ringtone so bad just so I can see people's faces when my phone rings on the bus! It is an inspiring, poignant performance of Richard Strauss' Also Sprach Zarathustra'. It will bring tears to your eyes, I promise! 

I want to buy that trumpet section (aka herd of elephants) a carton of beer! Send me a message if you're them! Enough talk - the gemstone is in the above video! 


Honorable mentions to: Judson Laipply's Evolution of Dance, the clever dog who gets his ball out of the pool, Literal Music Videos (Total Eclipse of the Heart) and the sneezing baby panda!

Top Ten Songs Written For/Made Famous By Movies

I love movie soundtracks, both scores and albums of songs. I profess to owning way too many CDs, including OSTs of obscure movies that hardly anyone has heard of and a fair few embarrassing chick flicks! 

Here are my favourite songs that you can hear in the movies...there are a couple of cover versions of previously famous tunes which have been reinvented and made famous by the movie in which they appear but most were written for/first appeared in its respective movie. 

**Please note I have deliberately omitted music from animated movies such as Disney or actual musicals (such as movie adaptations of Broadway shows or established musical films like Mary Poppins). This list would have been too hard to compile if I included music rich movies like those. 

10. Take My Breath Away - Berlin

This song is famous as being the big love scene song between Kelly McGillis (Charlie) and Tom Cruise (Maverick) from "Top Gun". It's incurably romantic, catchy and instantly recognisable by the synthesiser riff and bass line. Big vocals too from Terri Nunn which I think are quite underrated when you think about all the singers with the big ballads in the 1980s. I'm not sure Berlin did much more than this - not of any major note, anyway. They didn't need to. This was a huge hit! And I love it. The only thing is, now I can't watch that scene without thinking of this recut trailer some cleverdick did on Youtube! Brilliant!   

                          9. The Neverending Story - Limahl

"The Neverending Story" is one of my favourite movies of all time and how can you go past that title track? It is one of the most sing-able songs around with Beth Anderson's vocal hook in the chorus. It conjures up images of magical creatures, drowning horses, beautiful Bavarian landscapes and cute child actors with terrible haircuts! It was written by Georgio Moroder who wrote the whole soundtrack and it has the same intricate, catchy synthesized orchestration as the rest of the score (incidentally, I love the score too and bought the original German soundtrack - I can't even understand the German liner notes!). No wonder it was a No. 1 hit. Limahl (which I found out recently is an anagram for Hamill, the lead singer's surname!) probably never had another hit on his own but I also learned that he was the original lead singer of Kajagoogoo ("too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye"....he he)

8. It Had To Be You - Harry Connick Jr

It Had To Be You has been covered by hundreds of performers from Frank Sinatra to Elvis Costello, from Ella and Louis to (shudder) Kenny G. Some are great and some are terrible. But I LOVE this version probably the most. The opening is AWESOME with some great playing as usual from the amazing horn players that seem to gravitate towards Harry on everything he puts out. He's the ultimate romantic crooner. And this song is a perfect fit for "When Harry Met Sally" and its cute, quirky little story of friendship and love. H.C.Jr just can't do anything wrong! 

                     7. Standing By - Willis 

The "Never Been Kissed" soundtrack is one of my guilty pleasures. I bought it the day after seeing the movie in the cinema, particularly for the John Lennon, Semisonic and Beach Boys tracks on it but ended up loving every song on it (a little bit pathetically!). I particularly love this one. As the opening track on the CD, it makes me want to dance, it's so cheery and happy. It has a prominent piano introduction which is unusual for a pop song. The singer reminds me a bit of John McCrae from Cake with a slightly deadpan voice (who I also love). I can't find anything about this band/singer at all so I'm assuming this was just a one-off or he went on to bigger and better things with another band. It features in the scene where Josie and her teacher Sam (the gorgeous Michael Vartan - always a bonus!) ride the ferris wheel at the school fair. I can't find a music video anywhere on the Net, not even a clip of the scene. Oh well...

6. Wild Wild Life - Wailing Souls

I love this cover of the 1980s Talking Heads song (although I am a fan of Talking Heads). The song is already pretty catchy anyway (even with David Byrne's usual slightly monotonous vocals - he's not the most developed vocalist around!) but this version from the Jamaican bobsledding extravaganza "Cool Runnings" manages to top that already happy, boppy feel and it encapsulates everything that the movie set out to do - make you smile! It fits perfectly! There is something so inherently cool about reggae and I secretly love when reggae artists cover pop/rock songs! :)

5. Don't You (Forget About Me) - Simple Minds

I actually knew this song before the first time I saw "The Breakfast Club" in the mid-nineties and I already loved it. But now, the movie is the first thing that pops into my head when I hear the opening bars of that classic Simple Minds introduction. It is a great karaoke classic and brings up such great memories of that iconic ending of the film when geeky Brian's voice over reads the detention kids' letter to their assistant principal Vernon as we see bad boy John Bender walks across the sports field, which I've posted above. One of my favourite movies and a great song! 

4. Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life - Eric Idle 

The glorious musical joke right at the end of "The Life of Brian" is golden. From its catchy little whistling riff which prompts singalongs to the extreme irony of a man singing it while strung up on a cross, this song and scene are pure cinematic gold. Eric Idle's voice is hilarious. It is totally worth it simply for the line "Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it..." 

I know, I'm going to Hell. :)

Although, the opening parody of the film nearly made this list instead for its hilarious piss-take of Bond themes, complete with Terry Gilliam's animation! See it here! "And his face was all spotty..." Hahahaha! 

3. Ghostbusters - Ray Parker Jr

I love love LOVE the synthesized bass riff in this song! It makes the whole song worth it. I really like "Ghostbusters" as a movie; I find Bill Murray simply hilarious, it's silly with some great one-liners, has terrible but amusing special effects involving Marshmallow Men and corpses driving taxis, has a great eighties ensemble cast and this song is a great addition to the movie. 

I even arranged it recently for clarinet quartet! :D  

The song is worth it even just for the falsetto "Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah" harmonies about halfway through!

2. Miss Celie's Blues (Sister) - Tata Vega

This great Quincy Jones track from Spielberg's "The Colour Purple", a book and film all about female empowerment, is a song I have loved ever since I saw the film when it first came out. Tata Vega has a gorgeous bluesy voice and it encapsulates the character of Shug Avery perfectly, even though Vega is only the voice, not the actress! I remember hearing a school friend once sing this song as a solo in senior music class and loving it, although I'm not sure she did it justice. I would love to perform it myself one day if I ever have the guts. The Colour Purple is close to my heart anyway - I studied the book in school by choice - and so this is a deserving addition to the list. 

1. Underground - David Bowie

How could I not include a song from "Labyrinth" here?!! Underground has always been my favourite song in the movie. It appears both at the start when Sarah is running in the rain home and also graces the end credits. It's a crazily orchestrated, almost musical theatre-like number whilst maintaining its hideously embarrassing, cheesy eighties flair, complete with sexy sax solos that make me proud to be a sax player. I friggin' love it! Eighties guitar solos, A-MA-ZING busy basslines in the chorus to accompany to the over-the-top gospel choir and come on! It's Bowie GOLD! 

Best song ever! 

Hon mention goes to The Ground Beneath Her Feet - U2. Whilst it is in my top ten songs of ALL TIME, I think the movie from which it originates (The Million Dollar Hotel) sucked. So I don't count it in this list as I think it's a song that stands on its own (away from its inferior movie).